Trouble getting along with a family member or loved one can make gatherings of any kind difficult for you and those around you.
Even with close family relationships, it’s not uncommon to have a tough time communicating. Remember, just because you’re family doesn’t mean you’ll always have the same ideas, opinions, or beliefs.
You might even find certain family members difficult to deal with, which can create strained relationships within the family itself.
So, what can you do to deal with family relationship challenges and foster a more peaceful and less contentious environment?
1. Set Time Boundaries
Many people feel obligated to spend a certain amount of time with their families. However, that isn’t always the healthiest thing to do when you’re having trouble getting along with certain members. If it feels like certain people are always in your life negatively and it’s starting to take a toll on your mental health, don’t be afraid to set some boundaries.
If you don’t live with your family, that’s easier to do. Set up a schedule for when you can all get together, so there are no surprises or unexpected visits when you’re not ready. If you do live with your family, establish boundaries that give everyone some privacy and alone time.
Not feeling constantly bombarded by your family members can make a big difference in how stressed they make you feel.
2. Seek Help From Other Family Members
If it’s one or two specific family members that are causing problems for you, take extra steps to avoid being alone with them.
Do you get along well with your father, but not with your uncle? Make sure your father is in the room with you whenever you’re with your uncle. He can be used as a “buffer” of sorts. This will help to cut down on tension, and will likely keep everyone from saying something they might later regret.
You don’t have to completely ignore the family member you’re having challenges with. In fact, that might make things worse. But, you also don’t have to put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable or stressed. Finding a happy medium can make things easier for everyone involved.
3. Try to Understand Their Perspective
Relationship challenges in families often occur because we don’t fully understand why the other person acts the way they do. If that’s the case in your family, why not get to the bottom of it?
If you have trouble getting along with a specific family member, try to put yourself in their shoes. Look at things from their perspective to the best of your abilities. Why might they act the way they do? Why do they think so differently than you do?
Maybe you’re angry that your father has never shown any affection toward you. Perhaps he grew up that way with his father. Does your aunt criticize your clothes, your weight, or appearance? She could be dealing with her own extreme insecurities.
You might not like, or even agree with where they are coming from. But, having a basic understanding of what someone is truly thinking can at least provide some comfort and perhaps even acceptance.
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At the end of the day, one of the best things you can do is to show respect and be kind to your family—even those who might wear on your patience. Of course, that’s only the case if you’re all making an effort to foster healthy relationships.
Unfortunately, some family members are just toxic. They can be damaging to your mental and emotional health. In these cases, setting up some serious boundaries and making sure you focus on your self-care is the most important thing.
For more support and tips on how to resolve trouble getting along and nurture healthy family relationships, please reach out to us today.
Contact Daniel Hope, MA, LMFT Associate at the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin to get started with your therapy journey. Submit a scheduling form on our website, or give our office a call at (512) 270-4883. We look forward to hearing from you.